An introduction to the author... and all that other mumbo jumbo

"For the millionth time now, this is not going to be a false start! No, no, no, no, NooOO!," says my brain to, er, well, to my brain. And honestly I can't really hold my cynicism back, the blame is all on me. This is the seventh time I'm getting started on a blog. The last six died a little prematurely. All from the same disease.... procrastination. Does anyone know if the wonders of modern medicine have created a vaccine for that one yet?

Anyway, so I was thinking that if this blog were to develop another sort of medical condition, something that could, er, counter the symptoms of the aforementioned hereditary disease, what would be the perfect antibody? So here's wishing the writer of this already dragging jumble of words, a healthy and long lasting bout of chronic verbal diarrhea! May this blog be the enema to relieve the pressure of thoughts and unspoken opinions constipating his tiny brain!

So, without any further ado let me introduce you to our protagonist, me, known by some* as a dubious writer of tabloidy sleaze, by others as a wannabe food and travel writer, a struggling photographer (which button should I press again?), talentless artist and by an unfortunate few (and this one is reserved only for very close friends and family..fast depleting in numbers due to the fact that they're always too busy to show up for any of my dinners!), who have developed real digestive disorders, as a chef in the making. Oh and also as a bartender. The last one comes in handy whenever I manage to find a few suckers to sample any of my food. Just get them drunk and they'll never remember that roasted rat you (okay, I) fed them!

*Note to the readers: There are a few psychiatric facilities dedicated to finding out whether or not these people are real. For the time being it may be best to assume that the author suffers from a multiple personality disorder and that all aforementioned persons and anyone that may be mentioned in the future, including the author, are merely figments of an active but twisted imagination.

Now to resume our regular programme.....

As I was saying, others see me as a person who dons many hats, or as we here in India call them, turbans... a blue one, green one, red one... and the list goes on... So, in other words Angad B. Sodhi, our protagonist (whether you believe him to be real or not) is a rather confused individual, possibly suffering an identity crisis. After all, in our highly civilised and advanced world, where the individual is and her (yes feminists... I'm being politically correct here) individuality are held held so sacred, we are defined by our jobs. And as someone with many interests (some that occasionally bring in miniscule amounts of money) but no defined job or role to play in this machine called humanity, our subject is left speechless at times.

Here's an example of what I mean:
Random stranger to Sodhi: ...and you are?
Sodhi: hi, I'm Angad.
Stranger: I meant what is it that you do?
Sodhi: (awkward silence while trying to figure out what to say..)
Sodhi's brain to Sodhi: do I just lie and get it over with or do I go into a long monologue, which will make this person go away?

This conversation is usually followed by a feeling of confusion and sometimes shame and regret... "why can't I be like everyone else and just be a cog in the system?" It would be so much easier to be assigned a role in the machine and do only that for your 74 year average lifespan, with only your own regrets haunting you... all those shattered dreams that you had as a kid popping up in your head whenever they feel like.."If only I had..." being the standard prefix to every sentence addressed to your grandkids. But hey, at least I didn't suffer an identity crisis when it came to conversations with other tools!! Yeah, whatever makes you happy.

That defined life of a tool isn't really for our protagonist. He'll take the awkward conversations any day!

But enough mumbo jumbo about the role of society and its various nuts and bolts, this blog is about the journey of an individual trying to do everything he (and his fictitious friends) believes he is good at...or at least gets satisfaction out of.
And in conclusion it is safe to say he may have caught a verbal diarrhea bug. Let's just hope it is chronic!